


Rainy Days

by DrPaine



Series: The Lapidot Archives [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, moderate drowning cw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-14 08:30:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4557741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrPaine/pseuds/DrPaine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lapidot Tuesday prompt 8/11 -- Rain.</p>
<p>
  <i>The first day is spent with Lapis Lazuli by her side, a sometimes silent and not entirely welcome presence. But not wholly unwelcome, either. The rain is light-- sometimes the clouds even part and let a glimpse of blue (or stars, as night falls); but it never fully stops.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rainy Days

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place directly following 'Do They Feel', but I didn't want to tack a second chapter onto it ^^;

_The first day is spent with Lapis Lazuli by her side, a sometimes silent and not entirely welcome presence. But not wholly unwelcome, either. The rain is light-- sometimes the clouds even part and let a glimpse of blue (or stars, as night falls); but it never fully stops._  
  
 _The second day is spent in the house, Steven scrounging up board games to pass the time. 'And it's team building!' he says, eyes bright and flitting between herself and Lapis. By the time Peridot actually agrees to take part, Lapis already has everything set up._  
 _There is something off about her smile._  
 _The clouds are heavier and the rain falls harder, a steady beat against the roof. Peridot thinks she rather enjoys the sound of it._  
  
 _The third day is spent alone. Technically it is spent in the company of Lapis once again, the blue Gem huddling on the couch or sometimes in the rafters with a book. Two books. Three. Five. She's tense but so is Peridot, something about the weather just sours everything, she thinks._  
 _The rain has stopped, but the clouds remain, thick and gray; the air heavy and charged._  
 _The silence makes her want to scream, and it's a relief when Steven comes in for the night._  
  
 _The fourth day is spent alone._  
 _The rain is light despite the dark clouds, a gentle patter against the roof and windows._  
 _Peridot thinks she'd rather have the silence._  
  
\------  
  
 _"Have you seen L... uh... Peridot?"_  
  
Peridot jumps at the sound, glad she at least manages to stay silent intead of yelping when she looks up and sees Steven standing in front of her.  
  
When did he get in?!  
The sky is pitch black and that part of her mind that always ticks away the time tells her it's been night for two hours now, when did  _that_ happen?  
  
"Peridot?" Steven asks again, a frantic note entering his voice. Peridot blinks and gives herself a small shake.  
  
"What is it?" she asks. Her voice shakes, but she hopes Steven will simply think of it as the whine she often takes. That he won't press things, and why is he still in a soaked raincoat? Why hasn't he bothered to shut the door?  
  
"I was going to ask if you've seen Lapis at all, but--"  
  
"I haven't seen her all day," Peridot grumbles, grabbing a book off the table to try and busy herself.  
  
"Oh. O... okay then," Steven says. Dejected.  
  
It's not like she's doing anything else.  
  
"Do you want help finding her?" she sighs.  
  
"W... well, I mean, I'm sure she's okay, it's just raining--"  
  
But Peridot is already up and out the door, taking off down a section of the beach where even Steven won't usually go. The sky is dark and even with her visor, the rain makes it hard to see anything and why is she even _doing_ this? It's wet and too chilly and she's certain this can't be good for her joints, and yet--

She doesn't like seeing Steven worry.

And some small part of her is actually _concerned_ about Lapis. Remembers that she's seemed a little... _off_.

Peridot pauses then as she realizes--  
  
The sand is dry.  
The rain is gone.  
The ocean is still.  
  
And Lapis Lazuli is about a yard ahead. Though huddled so Peridot can only see her back, she can tell the other Gem is trembling.  
  
"Lapis?" Peridot says, taking a few steps forward; she can see Lapis' arms are wrapped tight around herself now, fingers pressing hard into her sides.  
  
"Lapis Lazuli!"   
  
Lapis turns, facing Peridot with a wide, empty stare as she stands.  
  
 _"Go away."_  
  
"You need to come back," Peridot snaps, reaching out and touching Lapis' shoulder. "Steven's worried, you at least ought to--"  
  
Lapis jerks away and the ocean roars to life, barely masking a raw, fearful shout. Peridot's shriek is cut short as a hand of water curls tight around her, flooding her form and even if she doesn't need to breathe, the freezing water fills her form and she chokes, tries to cry out and can't manage so much as a gurgle.  
  
The water throws her back against a rocky wall and retreats, rearing up for another assault, but Peridot won't let Lapis have that chance.  
  
She scrambles away, spitting up sea water and taking little notice when her visor falls. When the rain soaks her hair and it falls in her eyes, she knows the route well enough. Sight would be useless anyway, because she sees only what had just transpired.  
  
See the hesitation in Lapis' form. The stilted motions, disjointed-- no, disconnected. See her eyes, so wide and glazed, almost glassy. See  _herself_ reflected in them; how Lapis doesn't see her at all, how she must see only those who hurt her before, returned and ready to hurt her again...  
  
She could be wrong.  
  
But experience has taught Peridot that more often than not, she is right.  
  
Peridot stumbles over the rocks, flinching every time water touches her. Perhaps going inland would be safer (wouldn't remind her of almost being swept into the sea), but this is  _her_ space and her space alone and she needs that so very much.  
  
The fourth night passes alone in a downpour, in crashing waves and silent contemplation.  
  
  
\-------------  
  
Peridot knows the sun has been up for a few hours by the time she leaves the cave. The sky hasn't changed much for it though, thick black clouds and driving rain making the trip up the beach rather irritating. Not exactly difficult though, but a slower pace does give her time to think. Again.  
  
 _What Lapis did was not excusable._  
 _But it's understandable._  
 _You've done similar things, what right do you have to condemn Lapis?_  
 _She could have damaged me beyond repair, she knows!_  
 _But she wasn't all there._  
 _You know what that's like._  
 _You should have stayed back, you shouldn't have touched her._  
 _Give it a few days, give it a week, just leave--_  
  
But it's too late to go back, because Lapis' eyes are upon her as soon as she opens the door.   
  
_I need to pay attention._  
  
It remains that way for several minutes, each staring at the other while the storm carries on outside (and notice how they both jump at a thunderclap, both cringe and cower from too much sound and too much light).  
  
A few times, they each move to speak, only to fall silent. It's Peridot who manages to get in a sentence: "Where is Steven?"  
  
"With his dad."  
  
"The... others?"  
  
"Mission." Lapis says, looking down at her book again.  
  
Peridot remains where she is, the two silent until Lapis sighs, setting the book down and looks up. "I... what happened, I'm... I-I didn't mean to, I..."  
  
"I know," Peridot replies, staring ahead. Not quite at Lapis though, she can't manage that yet. But she knows it's better to have some semblance of eye contact, for both their sakes. "On the one hand, I'm frightened of you--"  
  
"What?" Lapis says-- half laughs, though it's nervous, and a brief glance shows her eyes lined with worry, a smile a bit too wide, too lingering.  
  
"Frightened, yes! You control what makes up the vast majority of this planet!" Peridot replies, trying to keep her voice from going  _too_ high. "You rely mostly on brute force over strategy, but it's still enough to bring any Gem down. You could have easily killed me a dozen times over by now. Wiped out this city, you held a seasoned soldier in a fusion for the better part of a year!" She pauses, forcing herself to calm down when she sees Lapis shrinking back in fear. "But for your reaction... I can't be angry with you."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Peridot looks down, fingers from her left hand curling over the chilled metal of her right arm. "Because I can... I understand," she says. "Sometimes you aren't entirely sure you're even--"  
  
" _You._ " Lapis' voice is barely audible. "Yeah."  
  
"You feel disconnected," Peridot says with a nod.  
  
"Drifting's how I think about it," Lapis says, cringing at another thunderclap. "O... or scattered. Pieces of you just floating away and you try to pull them back, but every time you get one, you lose two more, and the whole time you're stuck on a few thoughts or memories, a... and..."  
  
"You're certain it's real," Peridot says as Lapis' voice fades. "And you'll do anything to keep yourself safe."  
  
Peridot lets out a low breath, pulling up her screen and writing down a few notes-- really, she should have thought of doing this sooner, but. Better late than never, and at least here she won't face any punishment for adhering to such a motto.  
  
"What are you doing?" Lapis asks, peering over towards her.  
  
"If-- _when_ , rather-- this happens again, I'd prefer to be prepared," Peridot says. "Is there anything that you think would be helpful in bringing you... back, shall we say?"  
  
"I..." Lapis looks away, fingers twisting the ends of her ribbon. "Being touched, but you... saw"  
  
Peridot hums softly, jotting 'physical contact' down, teeth digging lightly into her lip as she thinks. "Perhaps... water," she says, glancing at Lapis. "You can control the force it applies, correct?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can you change its state as well? Water to ice, or steam and the like?"  
  
"Yes?" Lapis frowns.  
  
"Then that might be something worth trying next time you feel it coming on," Peridot shrugs. "Try varying degrees of pressure. No one else has to get near you."  
  
"I'll... yeah. Thanks," Lapis says, quiet and more than a little puzzled. "That's... nice of you."  
  
"It's the practical thing to do," Peridot says, not looking up from the screen. "It's for my sake as much as yours. Steven's too. Even the other Gems."  
  
"Oh. Right."  
  
The rest of the day passes in silence, Peridot flitting between a dozen or so small things she's been working on and Lapis reading. Or appearing to, until a heavy thump draws Peridot's attention and she sees that Lapis has fallen asleep.   
  
She's not too surprised. And it makes it a little easier to go back and add other ideas for what to do if Lapis ever gets like...  _that_ again; like trying to talk. Or at least remember to ask permission before any kind of contact. Because it is the practical thing to do after all, ensuring one's companions are in top form. That she and the others will be safe next time.  
  
And perhaps because it  _is_ the nice thing to do.


End file.
